Everyday I sit with clients who are dealing with loss.
➡️Loss of a parent or a grandparent who was influential in our lives.
➡️The end of a career, whether by retirement, getting laid off, or circumstances outside our control.
➡️The end of a relationship through a break up, separation, divorce, or the kids leaving home.
In each situation, men are forced to examine how their identity is changing, and it's uncomfortable.
Men who have spent decades as "Big Jim's son", "Darlene's husband" or "head of sales at Acme Inc" are all of a sudden none of those things and they are longing for the rhythm and structure they've assembled around that persona.
➡️How life was safer and simpler when they knew they could always call their Dad.
➡️The feelings of competence, belonging, and achievement that go with a long successful career.
➡️Being seen, heard, and loved by partners and children.
In addition to taking time to grieve what you have suffered, as the fog of loss starts to clear, we can gradually see the opportunities ahead:
➡️To honor your father by being a better father to your children
➡️By shaking off the golden handcuffs of a long career and finding something that gives you joy.
➡️And taking time to decide who you are, now, and who you want to spend time with.
The end result is not to forget who you were and where you've come from, but to build a new shiny life on the foundation of your past.
