Void Filling: Staying at Work to Avoid Going Home
This is post 1/5 on the warning signs that your work might be affecting your mental health, using the acronym VTECH:
V - Void Filling
T - Tenuous Motivation
E - Easing Out
C - Craving Perfection
H - Hyperactive Mind
Void Filling: Staying at Work to Avoid Going Home
Are you unable to leave work at work, on your laptop late into the evening not because of urgent deadlines, but because it’s easier than dealing with the rest of your life?
Work can become a refuge from personal struggles, failed relationships, or an empty apartment.
You Are Not Alone:
It's deeply human to seek comfort and avoid pain. The tech industry's culture of constant availability and achievement makes this escape particularly seductive as staying late feels productive and admirable rather than like avoidance.
Your workplace is familiar, purposeful, and structured.
Home, by contrast, may feel chaotic, silent, or emotionally unsafe.
Trust the Experts:
Research from the American Psychological Association shows that using work as an escape from personal problems correlates strongly with depression, anxiety, and burnout.
This is a temporary solution that worsens underlying issues over time. The longer you use work as a refuge, the worse your personal life becomes, making home feel even more unbearable, creating a vicious cycle that becomes increasingly difficult to break.
Changes You Can Make:
Acknowledge that you're using work as an escape.
Set firm boundaries around work hours and establish a consistent end-of-day routine.
Actively create meaning outside the office. Reconnect with friends, family, or pursue hobbies and interests.
Consider seeking therapy to address the underlying issues driving you from home.
The Payoff:
As you reclaim your personal life and develop sources of fulfillment outside work, your home becomes a place you want to be rather than avoid.
You'll find yourself leaving on time, looking forward to evenings, and experiencing better overall mental health and productivity.
Your relationships deepen, your stress decreases, and you develop a healthier relationship with work that allows you to perform better while protecting your wellbeing.
Next post: what to do when work loses it's meaning.
