Here's something most of us get wrong about anger.

We confuse the emotion with the behavior it triggers. Think about it. You get angry. You react badly. You feel ashamed.

So what do you do? You make a vow - "I'll never get angry again." As if that were possible.

We therapists create a space that's free of judgment. A place where whatever you say or do or think doesn't diminish you in our eyes. That's essential. It's the foundation of trust.

But here's where it gets tricky: sometimes, in our effort to create that safe space, we tip too far. We cast you as the hero of your own story, without question or accountability.

Readiness is that moment of clarity. The recognition that something needs to change. The admission that the current path isn't working.

But readiness alone is just potential energy. It's the boulder at the top of the hill, stationary despite its capacity for movement.