We spend our lives performing.

On the playground, in boardrooms, on Instagram stories. Waiting for applause, hearts, promotions, and nods of approval.

This week, I made a discovery that shouldn't have surprised me but did:

Most self-esteem isn't authentic at all. It's performative.

Most therapy sessions revolve around problems. That's the contract, after all. Client arrives with a problem, therapist helps solve it. The dance is familiar—each week peeling back layers of anxiety, trauma, and neuroses in search of understanding and healing.

But what if, for just one session, we stopped?

We therapists create a space that's free of judgment. A place where whatever you say or do or think doesn't diminish you in our eyes. That's essential. It's the foundation of trust.

But here's where it gets tricky: sometimes, in our effort to create that safe space, we tip too far. We cast you as the hero of your own story, without question or accountability.